My Graduate School Experience: Challenging Perceptions and Finding My Path

In the late 1970s and early 1980s, during my time in graduate school, I found myself harboring a deep contempt for my professors. From my perspective, they appeared to be nothing more than cowards. This was a time when civil rights issues were at the forefront of societal discussions, and yet these professors seemed to be detached from the epochal struggle to transform America. Instead of actively participating in this movement, they focused solely on their teaching, research, and publishing what I considered to be trashy papers.

During this period, I found solace and inspiration in the works of black freedom fighters such as Malcolm X, Stokely Carmichael, Eldridge Cleaver, and Huey Newton. Their unwavering dedication to the Black liberation movement resonated deeply with me. I devoured every book I could find on the subject, seeking knowledge and understanding.

As time went on, my frustration with the academic world grew. I began to question whether pursuing a graduate degree was truly the path for me. The professors I once idolized now seemed like mere bystanders in the face of societal change. I yearned for a more active role, one where I could make a tangible difference in the world.

The idea of dropping out of graduate school started to take hold in my mind. I couldn't fathom living a life similar to those professors who, in my eyes, appeared cowardly. I wanted to be on the frontlines, fighting for justice and equality, rather than confined within the walls of academia.

However, as I contemplated this decision, I realized that my perception of the professors was limited and perhaps unfair. It occurred to me that they may have had their reasons for not actively participating in the civil rights movement. Perhaps their contributions were made through their research, their teachings, and their efforts to educate future generations about the importance of equality and social change.

With this newfound perspective, I decided to take a step back and reassess my own goals and aspirations. I recognized that there was value in pursuing a graduate degree, even if it didn't align with the more direct activism I craved. Education, after all, is a powerful tool for change, and by obtaining a higher degree, I could equip myself with the knowledge and skills necessary to make a meaningful impact in the world.

Graduate school became a transformative experience for me. It allowed me to delve deeper into my areas of interest, conduct research, and engage in intellectual discussions with like-minded individuals. I discovered that academia, despite its flaws and limitations, provided a platform for critical thinking, analysis, and the exploration of ideas that could ultimately contribute to societal progress.

While my initial contempt for my professors may have been misguided, it served as a catalyst for my own personal growth. It pushed me to question the status quo and seek alternative paths to effect change. It taught me the importance of not judging others based solely on appearances or preconceived notions, but rather to consider the multitude of ways in which individuals can contribute to a cause.

In the end, I did not drop out of graduate school. Instead, I embraced the opportunity it presented and used it as a springboard to pursue my passions in a way that felt authentic to me. I channeled my energy into research projects that explored social justice issues, collaborated with fellow students to organize awareness campaigns, and engaged in community outreach programs.

Looking back, I realize that my disdain for my professors was born out of my own frustrations and desires for immediate action. While their approach may have differed from mine, I now understand that they too played a role in shaping the future through their contributions to academia.

My graduate school experience taught me the importance of empathy, understanding, and the power of education in driving societal change. It reminded me that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to activism and that each individual has their own unique contributions to make.

In conclusion, my initial contempt for my professors in graduate school was a reflection of my own impatience and desire for direct activism. However, through self-reflection and a broader perspective, I came to appreciate the value of education as a means of effecting change. My graduate school experience ultimately shaped my understanding of the diverse ways in which individuals can contribute to societal progress, and it inspired me to find my own path towards making a difference in the world.